Miley Cyrus transforms into hot mess

Much to the shock of many Americans, Miley Cyrus has been named “hottest woman of the year” by Maxim, beating women like Jennifer Lawrence, Rihanna, and Mila Kunis.

Your response to this might be, “Yay!” “No way!” or “Who the heck cares?”

Junior Cate Ettinger’s response was overwhelmingly positive. “I support her because it’s her life and her choice,” she said. “If people don’t like it, they don’t have to pay attention to her. No one’s forcing them to watch her twerk.”

Speaking of twerking, back in August (pre-VMAs), “twerk” was added to the “highly esteemed” Oxford English Dictionary.

Obviously, Miley is one of many people dancing to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance (courtesy of So why do we even care about her?

I’ll tell you why. Miley is a celebrity, and we Americans LOVE our celebrities. Growing up, they are our idols and obsessions, and as adults, they are the nutcases we make fun of.

But guess what, guys. The joke’s on us. Those people we are “making fun of” are making millions of dollars a year, and it’s coming straight from our pockets.

So you think they care whether or not everyone likes them? Of course not. They only care whether their fans, a.k.a. the people writing their paycheck, are buying their merchandise.

Of late, Miley Cyrus has been very successful in achieving that, and it’s all thanks to the “Miley Movement,” or at least that is what she is calling her new lifestyle. Props to you, girl. Your publicity stunt worked.

Was it really a publicity stunt, though? Many would argue against the claims that she is going crazy, and instead say Miley has finally learned to express her sexuality. Junior Maria De Luca said, “It’s her life and she can express herself how she wants to.”

I’m actually surprised no one saw this coming. Just look at all the other “Disney Kids”: Britney Spears with her raunchy music, and Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens in “Spring Breakers.” They are all trying to break away from their innocent Disney roots. They can’t stay kids forever, America.

Every child has to grow up at some point; adulthood is a natural part of life. Who are we to criticize what’s natural?

She has finally discovered who she is and what she is most comfortable with, which is more than most 20-year-old’s can say for themselves – a laudable accomplishment indeed.

Out of all the things Miley has done, the smartest would have to be craftily assuring that no one will respond with “Miley who?” Whether people like her or not, they will all know who she is and they will all be curious to see if her new album should be rocked or knocked.