When It Comes to Poultry, She’s a Chicken


Photo By Arnie Jacobo

It is now 2025 and I am surrounded by chickens. Chickens. And only chickens. How did the world come to this disaster?

In 2013, I came upon a Snapple cap that read, “there are more chickens than humans in the world.” After reading this frightening fact, I took it upon myself to inform the world of Twitter. Naturally, my tweet was completely ignored.

This is the biggest mistake the world could have made. In a mere 12 years, the world as we know it was gone.

Let me explain to you how our world was taken over by chickens.

As of 2009, the total chicken count of the world was 50 billion while the total count of humans was a slim 6.804 billion. The population of people was about 12 percent of the total chicken population, if this is not a scary thought, I do not know what is.  

It is a common saying that chickens have a “pea size brain”. Well, if you add up 50 billion pea size brains, that accumulates to be one massive sized brain.

In March of 2016, the world was shocked as we were faced with the chickens. Before anyone would believe that chickens had this capability, they assembled an army. Teaming up with the spiders of the world, they were unstoppable.

For reference, there are about 77 billion quadrillion 10 trillion spiders on the face of this planet. And this is a real fact checked via in the interweb.  

These spiders teamed up with the chickens and proved all humans wrong.

The world was changed forever when the chickens began an uprising. On the same day in March 2016, all the 50 billion chickens in the world stood up against those oppressing them. All the chickens in the wild also came to aid the chickens in their battle for power.

The spiders fought as well as they could with their powerful eight legs. They four times as many legs as humans do. Four.

Before the next day, the chickens and spiders had taken over.

Not only did these animals and insects take over, but they also established a government. To be specific, they established a highly organized republic with a head chicken in charge for six years along with a spider as the Vice President.   

The world as we know it has come to an end, but it should be an exciting journey to see where the chickens take us. I guess the chickens and spiders will be alright.