SELLING CAFFEINE MAKES HAPPY TEENS

March 30, 2012
Filed under Opinions

Now that it seems like getting a slightly later start time is impossible, what can the school do to energize sleep-deprived teens?

Most people turn to coffee, tea, or other caffeinated substances for an energy boost, but these beverages are harder to obtain thanks to the Governator.

In 2005, Arnold Schwarzenegger signed California Senate Bill 965, which permitted schools to sell only fruit or vegetable-based drinks with no added sweetener, water and milk.

The bill never expressly stated that high schools were included, which apparently translates to them not being exempted, but sections 49431.2 and 49431.5 state that all sold beverages must comply with SB 965 after July 2009.

Schwarzenegger certainly had good intentions in trying to lessen obesity among children.

Obviously one shouldn’t make soda available to elementary school kids.

Of course, simply preventing the sale of these beverages doesn’t even necessarily stop kids from consuming them.

Regardless, it’s a bit unreasonable to extend this measure to high school students. Teens are old enough to choose.

Now is the time to sell coffee and tea again at school.

Coffee and tea is here to stay, so why don’t you reap some of the rewards, Rio?

The potential benefits of selling these drinks are endless.

It’s almost impossible to be tired or unhappy when pure caffeinated heaven is running through your veins.

If the school sold coffee, we would have happier students and happier teachers.

Less tired students means an easier time for the teachers.

No more frustrating, awkward situations of students falling asleep.

Students will be overall more attentive and energetic.

The few times I had enough time in the morning to get a white mocha, I passed my calculus test, actually spoke in AP French, and wasn’t just an angsty, silent ball of hatred all day.

If that was an option every day, I would pass all my classes with almost no significant lifestyle changes.

When will there ever be a better time to start selling caffeinated beverages at school?

But that’s not all: it’ll also benefit the school.

Tons of people will line up for the opportunity to buy coffee and tea.

An astronomical amount of revenue could be generated!

You always see people with Starbucks in the morning.

Those same people would all switch to local coffee if it was a more convenient option.

No doubt the school would also sell coffee and tea at a more reasonable price than the overpriced alternatives.

With so many benefits, I don’t see how the school can avoid this opportunity.

We’ll have students who are ready for class during first period and better adjusted to do good work throughout the day.

We’ll have a school with more money in the bank.

We’ll have a school that is better adjusted to the early 7:50 start time.

There is no excuse. It’s literally the idea of the century!